A Poem: The Shallow End

I dove headfirst into love

without realizing it was shallow.

You were so charming, and I’m naive,

how could I have known.


I know this is cliche

but it killed me

what you had to say

after the fact

after I gave you everything

and you didn’t know if you had feelings for me


We are destined for so much more

than settling for pleasure and false love.

How can we live like this

and say we have faith in the God above.


You may have to deal with isolation

but I have to deal with bombardment.

Everyday, I come home to the place

where we made most of our memories.

I can change my sheets and wash my clothes

but I can’t seem to scrub your essence

out of my home.


I look in the mirror

half expecting to see you

walk up behind me

and give me a hug


I lay in bed

picturing you playing my guitar

trying to remember how a song goes

and putting it back down saying, “who knows.”


I take up less room when I sleep

compensating for your phantom body

and I find myself resenting the silence

more than your snore


But mostly

I sit here feeling sorry for myself.

Mourning over your potential,

our potential,

wondering

if you miss me

as much as I miss you

and if you hate this

just as much as I do.


Looking back,

I would have done a million things

differently

but I have a feeling

that wouldn’t have changed

anything.

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