I dove headfirst into love
without realizing it was shallow.
You were so charming, and I’m naive,
how could I have known.
I know this is cliche
but it killed me
what you had to say
after the fact
after I gave you everything
and you didn’t know if you had feelings for me
We are destined for so much more
than settling for pleasure and false love.
How can we live like this
and say we have faith in the God above.
You may have to deal with isolation
but I have to deal with bombardment.
Everyday, I come home to the place
where we made most of our memories.
I can change my sheets and wash my clothes
but I can’t seem to scrub your essence
out of my home.
I look in the mirror
half expecting to see you
walk up behind me
and give me a hug
I lay in bed
picturing you playing my guitar
trying to remember how a song goes
and putting it back down saying, “who knows.”
I take up less room when I sleep
compensating for your phantom body
and I find myself resenting the silence
more than your snore
But mostly
I sit here feeling sorry for myself.
Mourning over your potential,
our potential,
wondering
if you miss me
as much as I miss you
and if you hate this
just as much as I do.
Looking back,
I would have done a million things
differently
but I have a feeling
that wouldn’t have changed
anything.
Ashley's Adventures 