Sideways

I keep waking up
sideways
as the light blazes
into my eyes
orange behind
these sleepy lids
and I stretch like 
a little kid

I had a dream
that my room 
was a tent
and it was filling with water
again and 
again 
I abandoned my home
swam to shore
and it was over 
as I sat among
the Venus flytraps

I had a dream
with all the wrong people
the ones that I let
hold me back the ones
I allow to make me feel 
like crap

I had a dream
things
were different 
and I wasn't codependent 
love
did not need
and love
did not need to be 
pined for
I had everything 
I thought I wanted 
and more

no wonder
I keep waking up
sideways