The Shallow End

I dove headfirst into love
without realizing it was shallow
you were so charming
and I'm naive
how could I have known

I know this is cliche
but it killed me
what you had to say
after the fact 
after I gave you everything 
and you still didn't know
if you had feelings for me

we are destined for so much more
than settling for pleasure and false love
how can we live like this
and say we have faith
in the God above

you may have to deal with isolation
but I have to deal with bombardment
everyday
I come home to the place
where we made most of our memories
I can change my sheets
and wash my clothes
but I can't seem to 
scrub your essence
from my home

I look in the mirror
half expecting you to 
walk up behind me
wrapping your arms 
around me tightly

I lay in bed
remembering you playing 
my guitar trying to 
nail down a melody and saying 
"who knows"

I take up less room when I sleep
compensating for your phantom body
and I find myself resenting the silence
more than your snore

mostly
I sit here 
feeling sorry for myself
mourning over your potential 
our potential 
wondering 
if you miss me 
as much as I miss you 
and if you hate this 
as much as I do 

looking back
I would have done a milling things 
differently 
but I have a feeling
that wouldn't have changed 
anything