To Be Drawn

here I am
at the end of my rope
unable to breathe on my own
what does it even mean
to "cope"?
feeling like I've been cut to the bone

will I implode
or explode 
or crumble into dust and ashes
just like the woman I held so dear
and how soon it was 
she will never see my 
19th year 

If I do crumble
will you go with me?
will you enter into 
the ruins of my heart 
and choose to have a part
of mending 
what is shattered
and will you love me
not just fix me
whispers tender 
you say they're ours

I need a love that will heal me
one that will cause me to breathe 
again
because I've been suffocating 
under the weight to the pain
always volunteering
to chop the onions 
because I thought I needed an excuse
to cry

grant me your grace
to mourn well through this day 
and to turn my heart toward you 
as often as it's due

thank you for drawing me 
day by day
to gain me 
in a lasting way
and to tell me that 
no matter my position
you'll love me without condition