Monsoon

am I going to sit here
feeling sorry for myself?
seldom have I been the elder
yet more tears have been sown
in love earned
or not
head hot
against the oven

I just keep thinking 
I'm not like them
but who are they?
who do I think you want me to be?

my womb is empty
and my neighbor can hear me cry
thin walls and thick tides

new ideas
immaculate conceptions 
paving neural paths and 
linear regressions

I can't help but make-believe 
it's better this way
to hold one another 
in our minds
rather than our arms
perfection and joy from afar
where you can't see 
the rain in my eyes
you can never let me down 
if you never try