Alchemy

I feel like I'm dying
like oxygen is ever so slowly 
being siphoned from the room
like there's just a bit longer 
between each breath and sighs
fail to bring me back to baseline
there's a feeling I can't name
it's not fear nor sadness or dread
it's grey and looming
curious and timid, neutral, napping
maybe it's something new in me
awakening
I'm shy about it

It's studying me
from the shadows
perhaps mirroring me in the hallows
why do I feel so psychedelic 
as if I'm suffering a great loss?
could this be ego death and the emergence
of slumbering undiscovered 
authenticity?
yes
to be born again
one must die
rewoven 
in a shroud of wisdom
a temple drenched in sacred knowledge
that hidden womb of the spirit

I wonder
if this is all a memory

faint and humming genetic perspective 
distant and quaint almost imperceptible
lungs full of my own genesis 
when the air was water
and my consciousness was but a seed