“How are you?”
is just a courtesy
or is it?
maybe
I’m just being pessimistic.
I want comfort so badly
but to let people in means to open up.
To open up means
to feel everything;
every feeling.
This is what scares me.
Maybe it’s good
for life to not be so agreeable.
It’s in these times
that I can choose
to praise
and consecrate myself to God.
All against the odds.
I can’t bear to work
but I can’t bear to do nothing at all.
Screaming on the inside
monotone on the outside.
seek me out, why don’t you?
could it be
that you are afraid of me too?
Or maybe I am too much for you?
If you really care
you’ll chase me forever
just to see whats on my mind
to see whats really going on inside
This one thing sinks my heart to the ground:
I love to hide
but it tears me apart
not to be found.
Why do I crave such a pursuit?
I guess this is what it feels like
to be made in the image
of a jealous God.
Of a God who hides himself too,
just like I do.
I’m hoping, if I do this right,
whatever that means,
that there will be a pursuer
that keeps on pursuing;
even when I run away,
even when it’s hard to stay.
That a man will tie up his hiking boots
lace by lace
and venture deeper and deeper
into my soul
and ultimately we would venture into
the One who’s Love will never let us go.
maybe then
“Hey, how are you?”
will feel like something more
than just a courtesy or a chore.
Ashley's Adventures 